We make many choices in life, be it big or small, every day of our lives. That one decision has got the power to make or break our future. Humans create and perpetuate a competitive struggle to control choice.

I am paying the price for the wrong choices that I have made in life. Sometimes I wish I didn't listen and blindly follow what others say, and go for a route that may be unconventional, but at least I feel comfortable with. I try fitting in with everyone else in the society, I try to be nice, but it's tiring and I am suffering.

I am starting to feel that my creativity juices are being suppressed. I feel so soulless doing the same repetitive things everyday. I've struggled for way too long. I want to triumph over all the challenges lying ahead of me, stomp them so badly, but it's like no matter how hard I try, they still exist. How do I stop being so miserable? I have been looking at issues from a positive perspective. Maybe too positive for my own good, that's why I am feeling like this now. How do I continue doing something that I can't? I keep running, but there's no end.

Sometimes I wish for my heart to give me my true feelings all the time. It's giving me heartbreaks and headaches. Do I know myself? I am hitting 20 years old soon, but it seems like I still can't differentiate what choices would be beneficial for me. But then again, at least even with my bad choices, I am way luckier than some others. But I still feel like a big fat failure.

What is right and what is wrong? What should I do? What can I do? Where should I go from here? I wish someone could give me at least a hint. It's the same problems all over again, like a cycle that never halts. Or maybe I'm just magnifying everything.

This blog post doesn't make any sense at all. Random, random thoughts. But here's the only place I could go to.

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